being at peace with self

In the hustle and bustle of the city where I worked, sometimes I just wonder does it really matters?
To people who are caught up in the rat race for money, good luck and take care.
I also fell victim to greed. I want to earn more money. I want to be rich and buy expensive clothes and handbags. This is materialistic thinking. I realised that when I fell sick. Not from overworking but just from some random virus that I caught in clinic. I wasn't even overexerting myself. Once I am sick, I want nothing but my health back. The saying is true, "Once you lost something, only you realised how important that something is". (I am quoting based on memory)

Why are we so obssessed with money and power?

I am still coughing consistently. It hampers my job sometimes and might caused some stress to my colleagues for fear of getting infected. I am reading too much in one go, a few books at one time, my mind is all over the place, I can't speak without coughing, I can't sleep without coughing. I got annoyed with little things (especially patients). Things I do that I thought would make someone happy but someone doesn't think so. I am making myself catering to other people's needs but what about mine? Burden, burden
To avoid overthinking, I just focussed on the present and work with it. It is not easy, I might add but sure helps keep me sane sometimes.

Reading meditation book does help me. I treasured this book more that those books that I bought. I remember back when I am still in a-level without my parents with me. I am searching for my identity (and I am still not sure that I found it yet). I was exploring ways to help me concentrate. To keep my turmultous feelings in check.

Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh is a book I got for free from Kota Kemuning Buddhist Centre. I took it back and devoured every single words. The words that present themselves calm me down and I hold on to the book. I never once let go of it during my years of study. I might not read it every night but the thought that I have the book with me give me peace. Now I am rereading it and trying to memorise it all over again. Somehow it brings back fond memories and what I cherish in my life. I am the one who is going to forge a path for myself. I am not depending on other people to decide for me. I became who I am today because I wanted to.

We might want something really bad but have we thought of the price? Isn't letting it go better? What is meant to be yours, it will be yours.

I only remember my time in college and university of being with friends and having a good laugh. Sometimes I got so caught up with the race of trying to be the best that I got so down. Then I learn to let it go. I might not be the best and I will not be the one who put others down. I am just being me